


The Way It Should Have Been

by brittishmenorbust



Category: Torchwood
Genre: Cute, Don't worry, Fix-It, M/M, Mostly Fluff, Romance, Slow Burn, but some divergence, demisexual ianto, ianto doesn't die, janto, mostly canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-19
Updated: 2017-08-28
Packaged: 2018-12-17 03:22:23
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 17,268
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11842926
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/brittishmenorbust/pseuds/brittishmenorbust
Summary: I just finished watching Torchwood, and while I appreciate the show, I thought Ianto/Jack's relationship left a lot to be desired in terms of development and depth. This is a short overview of how I think their relationship should have gone with a little more attention to the important conversations that must have taken place off screen. Also I do not accept Ianto's death, so that is rewritten as well.Vaguely follows some episode plots (starts right after Lisa's death), but mostly just about their relationship. I wrote this for my own satisfaction, but I hope you enjoy it as well!





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Just a note before you start - I am demi/ace so there's not a ton of smut. It's more emotional than anything. I read Ianto as demi just because he said that "It's not men, it's just him" line. I know he's usually seen as bi, but this is how I read him.

There wouldn’t even be a funeral. Ianto knew that perhaps better than anyone. Still, sealing Lisa’s body in the morgue vaults felt wrong, incomplete. She’d always be  _ here _ , now. Under the place where he walked, talked,  _ lived. _ She could have been cremated, spread across the park where they first met, or buried next to her mother and father who died at Canary Wharf. 

Instead, as it seemed to happen a lot lately, Torchwood took priority, and protocol was followed. 

Ianto’s hands were cold. He gripped the bar to the door of her tomb, and sighed, bowing his head. He was alone, as requested. He leaned his head against the cold door and closed his eyes.

Already her features were becoming blurry in his mind. He fought to remember whether that little scar on her cheek was just a bit closer to her eye than her nose, whether it was to the right or the left that she tilted her head when she was confused. 

And it was Jack’s fault. His fearless leader had been the reason for all of this. Ianto could have saved her. He shook his head. He knew he was kidding himself with that now. After what she’d done to that delivery girl… there was no saving her. But that didn’t excuse the pure cruelty that Jack had exhibited. Certainly leaving anyone to die by pterodactyl was too cruel a punishment for someone who was not evil by choice. Even though that hadn’t been how it ended, Ianto still felt the sting of the memory. The almost joyous sound of Jack’s voice as he threw the sauce onto the woman Ianto had loved, inviting a terrifying ancient beast to finish her off.

Jack, the man he had hidden everything from. Jack, the man he had put in danger. He had put them all in danger. He didn’t think Lisa was capable… It wasn’t Lisa, he had to remind himself. It was a Cyberman. 

His stomach churned with a mixture of guilt and loss, anger and remorse. How could he go back upstairs and look at Jack the same way? Jack, the man who had ordered him to kill the woman he loved. Jack, the man who sentenced a woman to cruel and unusual execution and liked it. Jack, the man who apparently couldn’t be killed.

Ianto was still puzzling over it. He was sure he had been too distracted by everything going on with Lisa and must have missed something. Jack should have died twice there, but he kept getting up. He must have missed something. Still, he did feel an intuitive sensation that perhaps he wasn’t as wrong as he thought.

He couldn’t stay down here forever. The sterile smell of the air, the dankness of it, was weighing on him. He needed a shower, to sleep. He was sure he would be unable to sleep tonight, but he had to try. He dreaded going upstairs and seeing the crew. Their pitying looks and slightly angry expressions. He had put them in serious danger, he couldn’t deny that. But what would any of them have done? It was for love.

Ianto was surprised and relieved to find no one upstairs when he returned from the morgue. Perhaps everyone had read his mind and cleared the space. Maybe they just didn’t want to deal with him. Either way he was grateful.

He took a look around the arena that had been the theater of his beloved’s death. It seemed like just that - a theater. It seemed fake, like maybe he’d imagined it.

But he knew from the hollowness of his chest and the heaviness of his eyes that he had not. He grabbed his coat and headed home.

Everything at home reminded him of her. How could it not? They’d made love on that bed countless times. He’d given in and bought a floral duvet after much pleading from Lisa that black just  _ seemed to depressing _ . He ripped it off the bed and threw it out into the hall’s garbage chute.

He turned away every photo of her, his fingers slipping on the glass, wet with his tears. He opened a bottle of scotch and sat on the floor next to his bare bed. He drank. And drank.

Finally he was able to pass out. 

His alarm went off too early, but Ianto didn’t let himself think. He got ready just like it was any other day. He showered. He put on his suit. He went to work.

He hadn’t thought about the other part of his routine. Jack.

Every day since he’d started working there, he had been there early, but Jack had been there earlier. Ianto had come in earlier than early a few times, and Jack was still there. Jack was always there. And they always had about fifteen minutes to themselves. Ianto made everyone’s coffee while Jack worked in his office, or chatted to Ianto while he sipped his coffee.

Ianto froze for a second as he saw Jack at the coffee maker. A jolt ran through his body, mixed with a storm of emotion. Anger, guilt, depression, anger again. His jaw stiffened as he gathered himself and walked over to the coffee maker. 

“Morning,” he said stiffly. Jack didn’t look at him.

“Morning,” he answered, almost hesitantly. Hesitant was not a word Ianto associated with Jack. Jack cleared his throat, almost as if resetting. “So, I was looking through the coffee and I think we’ve run out of French Vanilla. Crazy, isn’t it? Seems like we always run out of the French ones first. Wonder if that has any signif--”

“Jack,” Ianto cut in angrily. Jack finally looked over, taken aback. Ianto never interrupted. Jack blinked and lowered his gaze. 

“Sorry,” Jack said lamely.

Ianto bit his lip so hard it almost bled. 

“You can’t just…” Ianto’s hands were fists. “You can’t just pretend… Listen, just because you’re  _ used _ to death, doesn’t mean you can trivialize it for other people.”

“What do you mean ‘used to death’?” Jack asked wearily.

“You’ve been doing this job for who knows how long. I know you’ve seen a lot of death. But that doesn’t mean you get to act like my loss means nothing. It doesn’t mean you get to sentence people who can’t help themselves, to be viciously ripped apart!”

Ianto was breathing hard. He hadn’t meant to say all that outloud, but his head hurt and he just  _ didn’t care anymore _ .

“Ianto,” Jack said softly, like a prayer. “I… It’s been a long time since I’ve loved--”

“Morning, gents!” Gwen walked in with false happiness on her lips. 

“Morning,” Ianto and Jack answered in unison. 

Ianto saw it, then, the concern on her face. 

“Did you sleep?” she asked him. She seemed sincere in caring, but Ianto couldn’t deal with any niceties right now. Gwen was nice, but she didn’t care about him, not really. How could she, she was new, barely knew him anyway.

“Yeah,” Ianto answered curtly. “Coffee?” he asked. 

She nodded, taking the hint to drop the inquiries. 

Owen entered behind her and when she turned, Ianto thought he saw her blush. 

“Morning,” Owen greeted somberly. 

Already Ianto was getting tired of the looks of concern and pity. 

“I’m fine,” he answered before Owen could say anything. 

“‘Course you are,” Owen offered with a nod. “Coffee then?”

Ianto handed him his brew. 

Tosh joined them shortly after, and Jack brought them into a meeting to discuss several Weevil sightings. It was a slow day for Torchwood. They only got called out three times, and all of them were manageable, small, alien offenses. 

Ianto went through the day on autopilot, only speaking when spoken to. He could feel Jack’s eyes on him all day and grew weary of it. 

He didn’t want sympathy, he just wanted to not feel this way. He couldn’t breathe right. His head ached, his heart felt like it was bleeding, and collecting heavily in a pool in his stomach. He couldn’t think of anything without thinking of Lisa, of the time they’d had and the time they’d lost.

As he was nearly the first one in, so he was nearly the last one out. Everyone had gone home for the night, but Ianto remained to clean up a bit. Tidying at least made sense. Everything in its place for a reason. 

He was storing the specialty guns away when he heard Jack’s voice. 

“I can do that,” he offered. 

“It’s fine, sir,” Ianto responded evenly. “Don’t want to go home anyway.”

Ianto had always addressed Jack as sir out of respect. His father had demanded it of him, but Ianto only complied out of fear. He had always meant it respectfully for Jack, until now. 

Jack grimaced a bit, sensing this change, but came to stand next to Ianto. He started cleaning a nearby gun.

“I know it hurts now, but it does get better,” Jack nearly whispered. 

Ianto felt the tears in his eyes. He wouldn’t cry in front of Jack.

“How would you know?” he spat, turning his face away. 

“It’s been a long time,” Jack said longingly. “A  _ long _ time since I’ve felt that way about anyone.”

Ianto was silent. He had stopped cleaning and was listening, but kept his back to Jack. 

“I forgot what it was like… I didn’t… understand,” he said. “I’m… sorry.”

Ianto laughed mirthlessly.

“You forgot? How it feels to love someone?” he asked, finally turning around. “How?”

Jack’s eyes seemed very old then. Ianto hadn’t noticed as much before, but now, he couldn’t unsee it.

“I’ve… been around a while,” Jack said, leaving no room for inquiry. “And I haven’t let myself…”

Ianto’s gaze fell to the floor. 

“I was going to ask her to marry me,” he said softly. “Before all this. Before the Cybermen.”

“You would have been a great husband,” Jack offered. 

Ianto nodded. 

“I just wanted to make her happy. I just wanted to share everything with her.”

Jack nodded. 

“Go home,” Jack said. “Let yourself grieve.”

Ianto nodded, and for a moment, he wanted to hug Jack, just to feel some comfort. He stopped himself. Some nice words and half explanations weren’t enough to redeem him. Ianto would never forgive Jack for what he had done.


	2. Chapter 2

The second night alone was worse, somehow. He had been numb the night it happened compared to now. He couldn't see how it could possibly get better, as Jack had offered. How much time would pass before he could look at her photo without crying? How much longer until he couldn’t smell her scent in his pillows? 

He kept wandering around his apartment and catching glimpses of nothing out of the corner of his eye, but he would turn, expecting to see her, and feel the loss all over again. He started looking online for a new place, but while he couldn’t bear to live here, he also couldn’t bear the thought of living somewhere with nothing familiar, nothing of her there.

He could go to his sister’s, but then he’d have to deal with Johnny and the kids. He lamented his relationship with them for a moment. He hardly knew David and Mica. The knew him only as Uncle Ianto, the man who gave them money. But he couldn’t see himself as the family man, even in that way. The job was too important now, and Rhiannon would only ask questions he couldn’t answer.

He stayed up until 2am on the internet, trying desperately to distract himself from any thought relating to Lisa. He kept seeing her face drenched in blood every time he closed his eyes. Would that ever fade?

When he’d had enough of staring at his walls, he decided to just go into work. Maybe he could be productive there. He walked through the vault doors and was met at gunpoint by Jack.

“Fuck,” Ianto nearly screamed, hands flying up. He’d been lost in thought and the suddenness of Jack with a gun had pulled him right out of it.

“Sorry,” Jack breathed, setting the gun down on the table. “I heard the door open, and I didn’t know who it would be at this hour.”

“Why are you even here?” Ianto asked. 

It was then that he saw that Jack was naked, save for the boxer briefs he wore. Ianto couldn’t help but notice his captain’s lean, muscled body, and he swallowed, noticing Jack’s smirk when his eyes returned from their run down Jack’s body.

“I sleep here sometimes,” Jack shrugged. “Well, most of the time,” he admitted, turning as if to go back to bed. 

Ianto went up the steps and sat down at one of the computers. Jack disappeared into his office, and Ianto assumed he was going back to bed, but instead he came back a few moments later fully dressed.

“Coffee?” Jack asked, gently patting Ianto’s shoulder as he passed. 

“Sure,” Ianto managed. 

Jack stood by the coffee machine, watching him. 

“Couldn’t sleep?” he asked. Although Ianto had woken him, he didn’t sound tired. 

“No,” Ianto answered stiffly. 

Just because Jack seemed to be concerned about him, it did not diminish Ianto’s anger. Jack nodded and set down a coffee in front of Ianto. Ianto nodded in thanks, pretending to be looking up something on the computer. 

“Everything in your place reminds you of her,” Jack guessed. His tone was soft, careful. He pulled up a chair. Ianto did not meet his gaze. “Her smell is on everything. Everything you see, there’s a memory. That mug she used but never cleaned so you always had to, that gross jar of pickles in the fridge that you got because she was craving them one day. And when you turn the corner, you expect her to be there, because that’s where she’s always been. But then you remember, and it hurts all over again.”

“You don’t know what I’m going through,” Ianto spat.

“I do,” Jack said evenly. “I know you think I’m some heartless bastard, but I do know.”

Ianto shook his head. 

“You know what it’s like when a man you looked up to, a man you trusted, takes your heart in his hands and squeezes? You know what it’s like to see the man you respect, have no respect for you?”

Ianto could feel the red in his cheeks, the heat of them, but he didn’t care. Was every interaction going to be like this with Jack from now on?

Jack sighed and took a sip of his coffee, seemingly unphased. 

“I had a commander once,” he said. “Shot five prisoners without reason. He wrote in his report that they attempted escape, but he just wanted to kill them,” Jack said.

Ianto turned his gaze to him. He didn’t ask what war, he was afraid to.

“I respected him before that,” Jack nodded. “I thought he could do no wrong.”

“Did he ever regain his respect from you?” Ianto asked. 

Jack’s eyes fell to the floor. 

“No,” he admitted. Ianto nodded. “But he also didn’t try.”

Jack peeked back up at Ianto as if asking a question.

“It’s been a long time since someone’s called me out on anything,” Jack said. “And I think… I think I needed the wakeup call. See, I had this friend once… he was like me in a way… needed someone to stop him, to make him a better man.”

“You think  _ I _ make you a better man?” Ianto asked, almost incredulously.

“Yes,” Jack answered without delay. 

Ianto turned back to the computer screen.

“I’m not responsible for your actions,” he said. 

“I know,” Jack answered. “But your reactions to them let me know how I’m doing.”

Ianto nodded. He pretended to be working while Jack continued to gaze at him.

“Ianto,” he said, barely above a whisper. 

Ianto bit his lip and turned to him, taking a deep breath. Jack reached out slowly, and touched one of Ianto’s hands, covering it with his own.

“I am sorry, truly,” Jack said.

Ianto got the feeling Jack never apologized for anything. He blinked and nodded. 

“It’s not okay,” he said sternly. “But… Maybe… I don’t know,” he said, drifting off. 

The pain was too new, he couldn’t promise forgiveness from where he was sitting now.

“I’ll take it,” Jack said, getting up and removing his hand from Ianto’s.

Jack went to his office, leaving Ianto alone with his thoughts again. Ianto decided to organize some files in the back room, and before he knew it, everyone was arriving for work again.

Tosh came in looking a little out of sorts, a bit behind everyone else. She kept staring at them individually, and Ianto wondered if she’d had some kind of mental breakdown. She seemed to recover somewhat, and retreated to the conference room to do some work. It was a quiet morning, and Ianto took his time bringing the team their coffee. He brought Tosh’s last, laying it before her and forcing himself to smile at her even though it felt like the last thing he wanted to do. The second he turned around, his face fell and the strain of smiling had him nearly exhausted. 

“Are… Are you alright?” Tosh asked tentatively. “I mean I know you’re not--”

“I’m fine,” Ianto said, forcing the corners of his lips upwards. “Thanks.”

Tosh seemed to be listening to something he couldn’t hear, and Ianto suddenly felt invaded in a way he didn’t understand. 

“Ianto,” she started, and Ianto was afraid she was going to say the whole  _ it gets better _ spiel that Jack had given. 

“I’m fine,” he repeated, taking the coffee tray and exiting the room quickly.

The next day Ianto found out why he had felt so invaded. 

“You killed her!” Tosh cried, broken and on her knees. 

“Yes!” Jack shouted. He turned on his heel and walked swiftly away, into his office, closing the door. 

Tosh sat there, sobbing, while Ianto watched. His jaw was locked tight. It had happened again. Not quite the same way, no, but he couldn’t stand by and say nothing. 

Ianto stormed into Jack’s office, not bothering to knock, and closed the door behind him. He wanted to yell, to scream at Jack for being an idiot, a careless, cruel, heartless thing, but he didn’t.

“What?” Jack said angrily, not looking up from his desk. 

Ianto said nothing. He stood by the door commanding attention without question. 

“I said, what, Ianto. Say something or get out,” Jack said. His head was in his hands now, as though it was too heavy to keep up.

Ianto crossed the room to Jack’s desk. Finally, Jack looked up.

“You failed her,” he said evenly. 

“I saved us all,” Jack countered.

Ianto shook his head. 

“Cruelty is failing,” he said. 

Jack sat back in his seat, and cocked his head to the side. 

“You sound like an old friend of mine, you know?” he said cryptically, his eyes far away. 

“Smart friend,” Ianto said, feeling almost like himself for a moment.

Jack nodded slightly, still far away.

“Why did you do it?” he asked. It felt like he was a parent asking a child.

“That thing threatened Tosh,” Jack said. “In my book, a quick death was merciful.”

Ianto’s shoulders dropped. A warped sense of justice, but protective instincts were ones he understood well. 

“We’re supposed to be the good guys,” Ianto said quietly. 

“Yeah, well, maybe I’m not so good,” Jack said seriously. 

“You could be better,” Ianto agreed. “If you wanted to be.”

Jack looked at him for a moment with what Ianto might have termed as wonderment.

“Maybe,” was all he said. 

Ianto took this to be the end of their conversation. He felt slightly lighter than he had before he came into the office. When he came out, Gwen and Owen were whispering to each other in the corner while Tosh stood by the lift. 

“I’m sorry,” Ianto offered. He had never been good with condolences, and he awkwardly patted Tosh’s shoulder. 

Tosh sniffled. 

“S’fine,” she said. “I barely even knew her.”

“Doesn’t matter,” Ianto said. “Still hurts.”

“Yeah, still hurts,” she admitted. She looked at him carefully then. “I know how much you’re hurting, Ianto. I know it. I didn’t mean to read your mind, it just… I’m so sorry.”

Ianto flickered his attention away from her and nodded. 

“You need to talk to someone about it,” she said. “Anyone.”

“I’m fine,” Ianto said. 

“I’m here if--”   
“Thanks,” he said. 

And he meant it… But Tosh wasn’t the one he could confide in. Yes, she’d experienced loss, but not with the same gravity. He didn’t feel that connection with her, like he did with… He hated to admit it, but with Jack.

“Find someone,” she said, as a goodbye as Ianto walked away.


	3. Chapter 3

Ianto had never been on such high alert for so long. For three weeks now, the entire team had been sleeping, eating, and fighting an alien invasion at the base. There was no time to stop, to breathe, to think. 

It took them three weeks, but they did finally fend off the invading unknown species Owen christened,  _ The Blobs _ . Slimy, slow moving, but incredibly parasitic globs of what looked like goo had started coming up everywhere out of the ground and invading Cardiff. It took the team forever to realize what they were and how to fight them. They’d crash landed deep in the earth, thousands, maybe hundreds of thousands of years ago, and had finally made their way to the surface, drawn towards the rift energy. Ianto was actually the one to realize that fighting them with cold, freezing them, was the only way to fight them off. 

Once dealt with, however, the team was given the day off, and Ianto had to go home. And be alone. For three weeks he hadn’t been back to his apartment. He’d lived there with the rest of them, sleeping on the floor, on couches, for only a few hours at a time. The rest of the time had been spent researching, planning, fighting. Things he was good at. Things he felt he was useful for. 

But now.

Now he slunk back to his apartment, a horror house of memories. He was alone for the first time, surrounded by quiet for the first time in weeks and it was crushing him. He managed to get a few hours of sleep in his own bed before waking up sobbing from a dream where Lisa returned to him.

He got dressed at four in the morning, grabbing a pair of pants from his closet. He was right outside of Torchwood when he reached into his pocket, and found something. A note.

_ Hope you find this before putting it in the wash. Surprise! Love you, Ianto. _

It was signed by Lisa. Ianto felt nothing for a moment. He felt numb to his dead girlfriend’s spontaneous and loving gesture. He folded it, put it in his pocket, and entered his office. 

He walked without knowing where his feet were taking him. He walked up the stairs into Jack’s office, opened the hatch to Jack’s bedroom. 

Jack startled awake at the sound, but seemed unsurprised to see Ianto peering down into his chambers. He was naked, covered only by a thin bedsheet. He blinked, and then smiled slightly, inviting Ianto down without saying anything.

He climbed down the ladder and landed softly on the metal floor. Jack shifted, moving to grab some underwear from the floor. He stood up, but Ianto didn’t look as Jack got dressed. He slid on his boxers and sat on the edge of the bed. Ianto stood facing a painting of a field that hung on the wall. 

“I found a note,” he said softly. 

“What kind of note?” Jack asked patiently.

“This,” Ianto said, pulling the note from his pocket and handing it back to Jack without looking at him.

Jack took it and read it quickly. 

“Ah,” he said. 

“I had almost started to…” Ianto said, his throat tight. “With everything that’s been going on I almost…”

“And this pulled you right back in.”

Ianto turned around, nodding. Jack stood up, leaving the note on the bed. 

“I lost someone once. I left their favorite mug in the back of the cabinet for months. Then, when I’d used all the glasses for many many drinks, I found it. But here’s the thing. You can choose how you see things.”

“Is that so?” Ianto asked, unfeeling.

“Mhm. I saw the mug and I thought of him. I thought of the good times we’d had in the mornings when he drank his coffee from that mug. I held it, looked at the place where he’d chipped it on the table, and I threw it away.”

“You threw it away,” Ianto repeated. 

“You can’t linger in the past, Ianto.”

“It’s only been a few weeks,” Ianto reasoned. 

“That’s a lifetime in our business,” Jack whispered, stepping closer to him. 

Ianto nodded, eyes on the floor. 

“I loved her,” he said. 

“I know,” Jack answered. 

He pulled Ianto to him gently, letting him lay his head on his shoulder. He felt the wet tears on his skin, but only for a moment. A final shedding of tears for someone who he’d never see again. Still, Jack held him for a few minutes, the two of them pressed against each other. Jack stroked the back of Ianto’s neck with his hand. Ianto was the first to pull away. 

“Alright?” Jack asked. 

“Yes, sir,” Ianto answered after clearing his throat. Jack smiled slightly. 

He leaned in and kissed Ianto’s forehead.    
“You’re going to be fine, Ianto Jones,” he said easily. And for a moment, Ianto believed him.

“I hope so,” was all he managed as a response. 

“Can I ask… Why did you come to me?” Jack asked. 

“Thought you might be up,” Ianto shrugged. 

“No,” Jack said. “Anyone would have answered your call. Why’d you find me? I thought you had no respect for me, didn’t trust me.”   
“I never said I didn’t trust you,” Ianto corrected. 

“But why me?” Jack insisted. 

Ianto frowned. 

“No one else… Understands,” Ianto said carefully. “I can see it in your eyes, Jack. You  _ know _ . You know the way I know.”

“Owen knows,” Jack said. Ianto arched an eyebrow. 

“Really?” 

“Before he came here,” Jack said. 

“We should start a band or something,” Ianto almost smiled. 

“But it’s not just that,” Jack said. 

“Well if you’re so brilliant--”

“You like me,” Jack said. 

Ianto let out a breathy laugh. 

“You think I came crying to you because I like you?”

“Ianto, it’s ok to let someone in. We can be that for each other. I know you. You don’t tell anyone anything. But maybe you should.”

“What are you, my therapist or something?”

“If you want,” Jack said. 

“I don’t need one,” Ianto rolled his eyes.

“Arguable,” Jack smirked. “This doesn’t mean I forgive you,” Ianto said carefully. 

Jack held his hands up.

“Fair enough,” he said. His eyes were soft then, vulnerable in a way Ianto had never seen.

“Why would you want this?” Ianto asked. “You want to hear my sob stories about Lisa? For what, fun?”

“I know how to have a good time,” Jack winked. 

“Seriously,” Ianto complained. 

“Seriously... I need my team at its best, and you’re not right now. So, whatever I can do,” Jack said. “Besides, you never tell anyone anything about yourself. And I’m… interested,” Jack grinned.

Besides the slight come on, Jack looked genuinely interested in him, and Ianto couldn’t process it. There was a glint of something in his eye, something like mischief. Still, being the focus of Captain Jack Harkness’ attention was somewhat intoxicating. Those blue eyes on him made him feel important, like he mattered. No wonder Gwen seemingly forgot about Rhys when he looked at her.

“I can’t make any promises on that,” Ianto smiled. “You are my boss after all, don’t want to cross any boundaries.”

Jack laughed. 

“Of course,” he said. 

He leaned over the bed and picked up Lisa’s note. He went to his bedside table and got a lighter.    
“Would you like to do the honors?” he asked. 

Ianto took the paper and lighter from Jack while he got a small trash can. 

“Goodbye,” Ianto whispered as he lit the paper. 

It burned slowly, eating away at the message until it consumed her name. Ianto dropped it into the bin when he could no longer hold it. 

Jack said nothing, he just took the bin away. 

“Let’s make some coffee,” he said, pulling on pants and buttoning up a shirt. 

“Yeah,” Ianto agreed, getting a head start up the ladder.

Owen was the first to show up a few hours laters, rubbing his eyes, followed by a bright and cheerful Tosh, and in-need-of-coffee Gwen.

The universe gave them a break during the day, and they were able to take care of some tasks that had been piling up around the office, finish some reports, and even have a nice lunch together. Ianto found himself genuinely enjoying the day with his coworkers, and actually smiling. 

Jack helped him clean and organize all the guns and weapons they’d used to fight off The Blobs, and he found himself at peace with the silence that lay between them like a docile cat. It was easy to be with Jack now, Ianto realized. How was it easy to be with the man who had ordered him to kill his girlfriend?  No. Not girlfriend, Ianto corrected himself. Cyberman. 

His mind had started to separate the two already without him even trying. Anything that had happened at Torchwood, even the parts where Lisa had seemed semi-lucid, wasn’t real. She had been too far gone for too long. He would remember her the way she was. Human. Nothing to do with Torchwood.

When the team wrapped up for the day, Ianto was pouring himself a cup of coffee. 

“Night, Ianto,” Tosh smiled, heading out the door. “Don’t stay up too late,” she nodded at the caffeinated beverage.

“Oh, it’s decaf,” Ianto lied easily. “Night, Tosh.”

Truthfully, Ianto had no intention of going home, or going to sleep. Home was where he would crush his progress of the day by being reminded of Lisa constantly. Sleep is where he would find dreams of her waiting to torture him.

He heard Jack’s solid footsteps behind him, but didn’t turn around.

“You should be heading home with the rest of them,” Jack scolded. “Go on, you were here early enough.”

“I think I’ll work another shift, sir,” Ianto said, defiantly taking a sip of his coffee. 

Jack raised an eyebrow. 

“Dinner?” he asked. 

“I could eat,” Ianto answered casually.

They ordered pizza and talked easily of the day’s happenings as they ate. They topped off dinner with a beer, and before they knew it, it was nearly midnight.

“You should really be getting home now,” Jack said watching Ianto meticulously clean up their meal.

“You don’t have to stay up with me, sir,” Ianto said, avoiding his gaze. 

“I’m supposed to sleep with you just lurking around in here?” Jack asked with a smirk.

“I’m not  _ lurking _ . I’m just… being.”

“You’re lurking,” Jack declared, taking his feet off the table and standing. “And I want to go to bed, so either leave, or come with me.”

Ianto’s cheeks reddened, a fact thoroughly enjoyed by Jack.

“You saw the bed,” Jack said. “Big enough for two.”

“I’ll sleep on the couch, sir,” Ianto said, his throat tight. 

“No,” Jack said. “You’d lurk on the couch. Come on.”

An order. Ianto followed his captain into his quarters. He was nervous, he realized. The ease of being with Jack had been replaced with skittishness. Ianto had never exactly been easy with the idea of intimacy with other people. And Jack… Jack wasn’t just other people, he was his own kind.

Jack got ready for bed as Ianto assumed he did every night. He wasn’t ignoring Ianto, but neither was he accommodating him. Ianto stood like a sentry in the corner of the room, watching but trying not to watch as Jack got undressed, brushed his teeth. Ianto almost sighed with relief when Jack entered the bed with his boxers  _ on _ .

“Well?” Jack prompted, once in bed. “Are you going to just lurk in the corner there all night? I thought we had this discussion.”

How could Jack be so calm and casual about everything, all the time? Ianto puzzled. How was anyone casual, while Ianto had to analyze constantly. 

“Stop telling me I’m lurking,” Ianto mumbled. 

“Stop doing it, and I won’t have to,” Jack countered. 

Ianto pressed his lips together in a thin line. He made his way over to the bed, and just as he was about to place a hand on the mattress, Jack stopped him.

“No one enters my bed fully clothed under any circumstances,” Jack tsked. “It’s a pride thing.”

“More like an embarrass Ianto thing,” Ianto mumbled.

“Only partly,” Jack smirked. 

Ianto felt Jack’s eyes on him while he took off his shirt and pants. Standing only in an undershirt and boxers, Ianto raised his eyebrows as if asking  _ good enough? _

Jack nodded and Ianto sat on the bed, straight backed, leg dangling off the edge as if he hadn’t quite committed. It felt like Jack was tricking him somehow. But as much as Ianto had felt uncomfortable when he entered, now that Jack was comfortable, it was contagious. He sunk back against the pillows and sighed, looking up at the dark ceiling. 

“So,” Ianto dragged out his vowel.

“Why don’t you tell me how you got that scar on your knee?” Jack asked abruptly.

Ianto looked at him, surprised. Until now, he’d never told Jack anything about his family outside Lisa. That scar… That was a deep story. No one but his sister knew that story, not even Lisa. He’d lied and said he got it in a fight to try to impress her. It hadn’t worked. He could lie to Jack, but he wouldn’t be believed. 

Jack watched him patiently as Ianto fought in his own head how to answer. 

“Broke my leg,” Ianto said, succinctly. 

He prayed that it was enough. It wasn’t a lie, that was where they had inserted the pins. Ianto prayed he wouldn’t ask how. 

“How?” Jack asked. 

His face was calm, but those eyes knew. They somehow knew that there was something Ianto was afraid to share. 

“I fell,” Ianto said. 

Jack gave him a look that assured Ianto he wasn’t going to let this go. 

“Listen, you wanted to go to bed, why don’t you just go to sleep?” Ianto asked.    
Jack did shimmy down in the bed, but he rolled on his side and looked up at Ianto, who was still sitting up.

“Suddenly not tired at all,” Jack said. “What’s so secret about a scar?”

“I don’t have to tell you anything,” Ianto said, not so sure as he thought he sounded.

“No,” Jack agreed. “But I’d like you to.”

Ianto scoffed.

“Why?” And before Jack could answer he added, “You don’t care about my not being at my best. I am at my best. I figured out how to kill The Blobs, after all.”

“After three weeks,” Jack said, giving him a look.

Ianto rolled his eyes.    
“Didn’t see you coming up with it sooner,” he said. 

“Not my job. My job is to lead. Command.”

“So we’re supposed to do the dirty work then?”

“That’s what employees generally do, yeah,” Jack grinned.

Ianto sighed, not convinced for a second. It felt like Jack just wanted to put him on the spot.

“Did you get bored or something recently, is that what this is?” Ianto asked.

To his surprise, Jack looked genuinely wounded by that.

“No,” he answered softly. “It’s not.”

Ianto looked at him, confused. Jack was actually interested in the story. Not for team morale, but because he… cared? It seemed too improbable, but Jack was looking so intently at him, he felt compelled.

“It was my dad,” Ianto heard himself say. “Well, sort of.”

Jack settled in, ready for the story.

“I was seven,” Ianto remembered. “My dad never liked me, I don’t think. He was always telling me how I needed to ‘man up’ and ‘stop acting like such a girl.’ Anyway… One day we were at the playground. It was a beautiful afternoon, and as much as he picked on me, I was actually happy to be spending time with him. He brought me over to the swing set. I was the only one on there, everyone else was playing with a dog someone had brought to the park. I jumped on the swings and he pushed me. It was fine at first, you know, he just pushed gently. But then he started to really get into it, pushing me higher. And I was scared, you know?” Ianto said, casting a glance at Jack who nodded. “He kept saying, ‘You can go higher, you can do it.’ But I kept telling him to stop, that I was scared, that I felt like I was slipping off at the top of the swing. But he kept going, just telling me to hold on, and that I’d enjoy myself. And then I slipped. I slipped right off the swing and hurtled to the ground. I don’t know how it happened. A mixture of my sweaty palms and the slick seat I guess,” Ianto shrugged. “Anyway, I ended up on the ground, and when I looked down, my leg was bent all wrong. I looked at it, stunned. Then I looked up at my dad who was running over. This is where he might have said, ‘Are you okay? Sorry I pushed you so hard.’ But no, not my dad,” Ianto laughed sorely. “He said, ‘You should have held on tighter.’”

Ianto pressed his lips together as he looked at the scar. 

“They had to put in a few pins to straighten it out.”

He ran his fingers over the white line that had been there nearly his entire life. It was much more faded now than it had been then, but the memory was still there, just as strong.

“I’m sorry,” Jack nearly whispered.

“Yeah, well, not your fault,” Ianto shrugged him off. 

“Did he ever get better?” Jack asked. 

“Mm, for my first school dance with a date, he somehow managed to hit on her while asking her why she settled to go with me.”

“Ah,” Jack said. 

“I could go on,” Ianto threatened. 

“I get the picture,” Jack nodded. 

Ianto waited for him to say something else, but it seemed like Jack was contemplating something. 

“Have you got any scars?” Ianto asked suddenly, pulling Jack out of whatever revelry he was in.

“Hm? No,” Jack said absently.

“Really? Not one?” Ianto asked, peering at Jack’s smooth skin. 

“I’m a careful guy,” Jack smirked. Ianto rolled his eyes, choosing to lay down and cover himself with the sheets.

Ianto could tell he was lying. He should have had some marks even just from his fight against Lisa. Maybe he was a quick healer. Still, he never remembered seeing Jack hurt in all his time at Torchwood. Ianto was about to indulge that train of thought, but he fell asleep.


	4. Chapter 4

After that night, it was hard not to tell Jack everything. Ianto wondered how it came to be so natural so quickly to him, to crawl into Jack’s bed at the end of the day and share the story of his life. Once he began, it was hard to shut off. It was like a gushing wound, but he found he felt better, instead of drained as he’d always expected. Over the week, he told Jack more about himself than even his sister knew. He told him of his first time with a woman, his first time with a man; the time his childhood friend moved to America; when he found out his sister was pregnant. 

He would talk and talk, and Jack would listen, sometimes clothed, sometimes not, always listening. Through it all, Ianto still wondered what it was that Jack found so fascinating in him. Surely there were more interesting people to invite into your bed every night that would give you more than just conversation. 

It wasn’t until one night, that Ianto realized he wanted more. He was telling Jack a story about the time he shoplifted as a teenager. Jack was laughing as Ianto described a younger self so different from the one he presented in present time. He watched as Jack giggled, his eyes closed tight, almost tearful with laughter. 

And that was when he kissed him. How could he not? Jack was so beautiful in that moment. Jack had listened to everything, had accepted everything. And now he was laughing and happy because of Ianto. He couldn’t not.

Jack jumped a little when Ianto’s lips first touched his, but like a practiced athlete, he knew the starting bell, and quickly jumped into the ring. His lips were soft, and Ianto liked the feel of them on his lips, his neck. It was late at night, and the hub was silent. Ianto could hear his own heartbeat, every movement of the bed sheets beneath them. Jack was insistent, curious, sliding his tongue expertly into Ianto’s mouth, tasting him. Ianto could tell he had been waiting for this patiently.

He cupped Ianto’s face delicately, but firmly, pulling him closer. Ianto’s head was swirling. Jack was everywhere around him, and then they heard it. The warning bell. 

“Fuck,” Jack mumbled, pulling away and hanging his head.

“Yeah,” Ianto laughed, agreeing. 

Jack looked up into Ianto’s eyes and smiled. It was a smile Ianto had never seen before. It wasn’t Jack’s usual cheesy grin, or even his mysterious smirk. This was something else. Something like excitement and lust, and something else mixed together in an expression that demanded Ianto’s full attention.

“What do you think it is?” Ianto asked, sliding out of the bed.

“Nothing good,” Jack said, but that smile was still on his lips.

They got dressed and went out into the main hub to find out why the alarms had gone off. The team burst in a few minutes later, having all gotten the alarm on their phones.

“What’s wrong?” Gwen asked, looking like she’d been tossed around in a storm in her haste to get dressed. 

“Computer’s going crazy, but I can’t figure it out,” Ianto said. 

“Let me,” Tosh said, gently pushing Ianto out of the way. She tapped quickly, pausing only to push her glasses up on her nose. “Weevil sightings,” Tosh said.

“Vermin of Cardiff,” Owen drawled. 

“How many?” Jack asked. 

Tosh pulled up the notifications. 

“Looks like five, just north of here,” she reported. 

“Owen, Gwen, Ianto, with me. Tosh stay here for tech support,” Jack commanded. 

“Grab your spray and your guns, and let’s go.”

They gathered their supplies as if they were grabbing coats to go out. They piled into the SUV and Jack put on the sirens. It only took five minutes to reach the location, and it wasn’t hard to find them once they were there. 

Four weevils were prowling the street like some kind of gang. The area was mainly deserted as it was about three in the morning, but they weren’t about to take any chances of civilian casualties.

“Split up, let’s surround them so we box them in,” Jack ordered. 

The team nodded in unison. The night air was cold, and Ianto could feel the sweat chilling his skin as it cooled. He held his gun before him with steady hands.Owen found his weevil and easily sprayed it, causing it confusion enough to be stunned and knocked out. Gwen went for a more direct assault on hers, kicking the weevil in the abdomen and then its head when it bent over. Two were down. Now it was up to Jack and Ianto to get the remaining two. They were approaching from the east, looking as if they were ready to start charging. 

Ianto hated their beast-like faces. They seemed needlessly violent and ferocious creatures and he just did not understand them. He cast a look around the alley they had found themselves in. He saw some pins, a few plastic bags, and rope. He picked up the rope and cast a glance at Jack. They didn’t need words for the plan. Ianto threw a side of the rope to Jack who caught it and ran with Ianto. They clotheslined the weevils easily, and Owen and Gwen stepped in to knock them out. Jack grinned at Ianto.

“Quick on your feet,” he quipped. 

“You have no idea,” Ianto found himself saying suggestively.

Before Jack could respond, Gwen and Owen were beside them. 

“Good job,” Gwen patted Ianto on the back. 

“It does happen occasionally,” Owen granted. 

“Alright, Owen, with me, let’s load these bodies into the SUV. Gwen and Ianto, find a cab. We won’t have room with the weevils in there.”

“Ah, great,” Gwen complained. “I’m using the corporate card.”   
“There is no corporate card,” Jack winked.

Ianto helped them load the weevils into the car, and vaguely wondered if anyone might think they’d just committed a mass murder and were hiding the bodies. Thankfully, no one was out and they were fairly sheltered in their alley.

He walked with Gwen in the cold night air in silence as they made their way back. 

“It’s not too far if you want to just walk,” Gwen offered. “Doubt we’ll find a ride this time of night anyway.”

“Sure,” Ianto smiled. It felt good to walk after the rush of adrenaline.

A few more steps in silence. 

“You and Jack are working well together lately,” Gwen noted. “It’s like you two are more in sync, can read each other really easily.”

“Yeah, I guess so,” Ianto said, trying to sound  blasé about it. 

“You’ve been spending a lot of time together,” She continued, trying not to smile.

“I guess, I mean, when we have time at work.”

“And after,” Gwen said. “I haven’t seen you leave the hub in weeks.”

“I’ve left,” Ianto lied. 

He had. He’d left to clean out his apartment.

“Right,” Gwen said. “I’d image Jack’s bed is quite comfortable.”

“It’s not--”   
He had been about to say that it wasn’t like that. But he stopped himself. Because maybe it was. He could still remember the feeling of Jack’s lips on his. Maybe it  _ was _ like that, or at least maybe he  _ wanted _ it to be like that.

“It’s complicated,” he decided as a compromise.

“I have no doubt,” Gwen laughed. “Has he told you anything?”

Ianto’s eyebrows furrowed and he almost stopped walking.

“What do you mean?”

“I mean about his mysterious past that he never talks about. No one knows anything about him, really.”

Ianto blinked, realizing how right she was. He had spent all this time talking about himself, telling Jack everything about himself, that he hadn’t realized it was reciprocated. 

“No,” he said weakly. “No, I haven’t.”

“Plays things pretty close to the vest, that one,” Gwen said, almost sympathetically.

“Yeah,” Ianto said absently. 

He thought about the one or two things Jack had talked to him about. He’d lost someone, a boyfriend, at some point. That much he knew. But when or where, or any other details, he couldn’t say. He knew he was in the military, but he didn’t know which country’s or which war.

“Anyway, I think it’s cute, the two of you,” she continued. 

“It’s not the two of us,” Ianto corrected. “It’s not… It’s not really anything yet. We just… talk.”

“Isn’t that how everything starts?” she asked. 

Ianto smiled faintly. 

“Yes, I suppose so,” he agreed. 

Their footsteps echoed in the empty streets as they made the way back to Torchwood with easy small talk. Ianto did the best he could, but he realized he had severely miscalculated his and Jack’s relationship. It was essentially one sided. How had he not asked any questions? 

No, he realized. He had. Whenever he had asked Jack about anything, Jack had always answered vaguely and turned the conversation back to Ianto. Ianto had been so eager for Jack’s attention, he had allowed it. Now, though, Ianto wanted to know more.

When they got back to the hub, the guys had finished loading the weevils into the cells. It was still early morning, before sunrise. 

“Alright, go home and get some more rest,” Jack offered. “Don’t come in until nine.”

“You got it boss,” Owen said, yawning and grabbing his coat.

“Don’t have to tell me twice,” Gwen nodded. 

“I might actually stay--”

“Tosh, go sleep some more,” Jack ordered. Ianto wondered if he was really concerned with them, or if he just wanted be alone with him.

“Alright,” Tosh agreed, grudgingly.

Jack watched them leave and then turned his attention to Ianto. 

“So,” he said, eyebrow arched and eyes full of mischief. “Where were we?”

Ianto looked at him dead in the eyes.

“Why don’t you ever talk about yourself?” he asked. 

Jack’s face dropped, and a mask of mild annoyance appeared.

“I do,” Jack defended. He walked over to one of the computers and pretended to check something.

“You don’t, though,” Ianto said, standing close behind him. 

Jack was very aware of Ianto’s body behind his. There was space for only a thin hair between them, Ianto’s face over his shoulder.

“Why?” Ianto asked. “I mean, I know why I wouldn’t… I was scared. But after all this… don’t you trust me enough?”

“That’s not it,” Jack said, turning around.

Ianto didn’t step back. There remained only the narrow space between them. Jack’s eyes flickered to Ianto’s lips. 

“Then why?” Ianto asked, closing the microscopic distance between them and resting his hands on Jack’s hips. Jack bit his lower lip as if to stop himself from speaking. 

“I just can’t,” he said finally. 

Ianto’s eyes fell from Jack’s eyes to his lip and back up again. 

“I thought that maybe this…” Ianto grazed his lips against Jack’s, “Was going somewhere.”

“Oh it was,” Jack laughed. “And it still can.”   
“I just can’t know anything about the man I’m sleeping with,” Ianto said. 

Jack arched an eyebrow.

“Sleeping with?” he asked. 

Ianto gave him a wry smile, a rare treat for Jack. 

“If you’re lucky… Sir,” Ianto said carefully, watching the effects of his address.

Jack’s eyes were wild, but he contained himself. His hands followed the curve of Ianto’s shoulders down to his waistband. Expecting to dip into them, Jack was surprised when Ianto’s hands stopped him. 

“Tell me something,” Ianto said. 

“What?”

“Anything,” Ianto said. “Anything about yourself.”

“Hmm,” Jack pondered. “I like a man called Ianto Jones.”

“Nope, something real,” Ianto said. 

“That is real,” Jack frowned.    
“Something I don’t already know,” Ianto rolled his eyes, but was secretly glad to hear the affirmation.

Jack looked at a loss for words, something Ianto had never seen before. He’d tried to turn the conversation like he always had, but Ianto knew that trick now. 

“You can’t tell me  _ anything _ ?” Ianto asked, stepping back. 

Jack looked at the ground. 

“Nothing?” Ianto said, angry now. “I’ve told you  _ everything. _ Things I haven’t even told my own sister.”

“I’m sorry,” Jack said. 

Ianto laughed bitterly.

“You’re not so mysterious, you know,” Ianto spat. “You and your coat, and your hair. I know people like you.”

“I don’t think you do,” Jack muttered. 

“You’re all charismatic and great, and you pick up people like me who admire you, who trust you, but you’ll never be an equal in a relationship, because you need the attention.”

“That’s not me, I’m not him,” Jack said, angrily. 

“Him?” Ianto asked. “No wait, don’t tell me, you  _ can’t _ tell me.”

Jack sighed, exasperated. 

“No,” he said. “It’s not important. Listen…”

Jack closed the distance between them, and was glad to see that Ianto did not flinch when Jack placed a hand on his arm.

“I’m afraid,” Jack said seriously.

It was so uncharacteristic of Jack, that Ianto laughed. He laughed and then immediately clasped his hand over his mouth. 

“What?” Ianto asked. His voice cracked. “Seriously?”

“Yes, seriously,” Jack said. Ianto’s smile dropped. 

“Oh,” Ianto said, realizing just how serious he was. “Why?”

“Because… if you knew even a quarter of the things I’ve done, you wouldn’t like me.”

Ianto pondered this for a moment. 

“Have you killed people?” he asked. Jack nodded. “Innocent people?” Jack nodded. “Children?” Jack’s eyes were filled with tears. He nodded. 

Ianto thought for a moment. “Context is a very important thing,” he said evenly. “Was there a reason for all of it? A good reason?”

“Not all of them,” Jack said. 

Ianto nodded. 

“Well. I think you should let me be the judge of that, sir.”

Jack blinked and tilted his head to the side slightly.    
“Really?” he asked. 

“We’ll call it an informal trial,” Ianto said, placing his hands on Jack’s chest.

He leaned up and kissed him gently. 

“Tell me something.”

Jack gazed into Ianto’s eyes, a little dazed from the kiss. He studied the man before him. His Ianto. His steadfast, reliable, loving, Ianto. 

“I… was a Time Agent,” he said at last. 

“What does that mean?” Ianto asked. 

“It means… I worked for a company in the future. Well, I worked, but I was also a kind of conman.”

“Time travel?” Ianto confirmed.

“Yeah,” Jack answered. 

“Right, alright, I’ll just go with that then, shall I? Go on.”

“I used my knowledge of the future to con people,” he said. 

“Like Marty McFly?” Ianto asked.

“You’ve seen that movie?” Jack laughed. 

“I did have somewhat of a childhood,” Ianto smirked. 

“Yeah, sort of like Marty, but I didn’t have a Doc back then to stop me.”

“But you found one?” Ianto asked. 

“He found me, actually,” Jack laughed. 

“And now you fight the good fight.”

“You skipped quite a few years in there, but yeah,” Jack said. “I try to, anyway.”

Ianto nodded. 

“Was that so hard?”

“Actually…”   
“Shut up,” Ianto laughed. And then added, “Sir.”

Jack kissed him hard then, pushing him back and leading him into the bedroom. Ianto had made love before with a few men, but never like this. Never with  _ Jack _ . Inventive wasn’t the right word, more like avant garde. The way he moved, the things he did sent Ianto over the edge embarrassingly quickly, but Jack was quick to follow. 

The night was eventful and strenuous to say the least, but at the end of it, the two men lay naked on floor (things had progressed past the bed rather quickly), panting and smiling.

Ianto got up from the floor and held out his hand. He followed Ianto into the shower, where they had one more interaction in which Ianto would forever see soap in a different light. 

When they were clean, they flopped onto Jack’s bed and stared at the ceiling together.

“So if you’re from the future, does that mean you’re like negative 35, or something for age?” Ianto jested. 

“I think it means I’m your senior, actually, and you should respect your elders.”

“Apologies, Captain,” Ianto smirked. 

Jack laughed softly. He was happy to see Ianto happy. Seeing him torn apart by the tragedies of late had been heart wrenching. And this - a naked, laughing Ianto in his bed - it was as close to happy as Jack had ever been.

“I had a partner in the Time Agency,” Jack said softly. 

Ianto was silent, waiting eagerly to hear more. 

“We were… together, me and him.”

“Oh,” Ianto said, already jealous of this mystery time agent.

“Nine years,” Jack said. “He was… everything to me.”

“What happened?” Ianto asked.

“He wasn’t a good man,” Jack said cryptically. “I’m not claiming to be the best, but at least I didn’t  _ enjoy _ killing the people I killed.”

“Sounds like a winner,” Ianto quipped. 

Jack rolled over to face him. 

“I’m telling you this because I care about you,” Jack said. 

“I know,” Ianto said, staring up at the ceiling. 

“You’re so different… It makes me wonder what I was doing all those years.”

Ianto looked over at Jack. 

“Waiting,” Ianto smiled. 


	5. Chapter 5

The first morning waking up in Jack’s arms, instead of just waking up next to him in his bed, was ethereal. While there was no morning light streaming in the window, as they were underground, Ianto still felt a sense of home and contentment he’d been missing for a long time. 

Jack’s strong arms were around him, he was pressed up behind Ianto and showed no sign of lessening his hold. Ianto had woken up about a minute before Jack’s alarm went off. It was enough time to remember the night before, blush profusely, recover, and smile. When he’d joined Torchwood all those years ago, he never thought he’d be the one sleeping with the boss. And yet, here he was, naked in Jack’s bed. 

Jack’s alarm beeped and Ianto felt Jack’s groan rumble through his chest. He stretched, pretending to have just woken up too, and rolled over to face Jack. Jack’s eyes were half closed, still sleepy and vulnerable. Ianto smiled at him. 

“Morning,” Jack said, his voice gravely. He kissed Ianto easily, as if they’d been doing this for months.

“Morning, sir,” Ianto smiled. “Shall I fetch us some coffee?”

“You don’t have to do that,” Jack frowned. “I mean, I know it’s kind of your job, but you don’t--”

“I like to, sir,” Ianto grinned, kissing Jack as he got up.

“I’d suggest some clothes first,” Jack smirked. “Unless you’d like the rest of the team to have the unique pleasures I’ve witnessed.”

Ianto blushed slightly and agreed, grabbing a fresh set of clothes. Jack stayed in bed, watching him. He was so meticulous while dressing, making sure everything was in it’s rightful place. He looked even better than Jack did in a vest, and it made Jack want to tear it right off. 

“Will you be dressing today, sir? Or just enjoying the show?”

Jack grinned at his cheekiness and got out of bed. He walked over to Ianto and placed his hands on Ianto’s chest, needlessly flattening the perfectly ironed fabric.

“Ianto Jones,” he sighed happily. “I could watch you get dressed forever. Especially if it means you needed to because of what we did last night.”   
“It was alright, wasn’t it,” Ianto smiled, more confident than he felt. 

“More than that,” Jack said, his tongue between his teeth. 

“Jack, are you here?” Gwen's voice sounded through the hub. 

Ianto and Jack looked up. 

“Better get going,” Ianto ordered. 

“Yes, sir,” Jack smirked.

Ianto climbed up the ladder into the office and found Gwen.

“Where’s Jack?” she asked. 

“Getting dressed,” Ianto said, clearing his throat. 

Gwen didn’t seem to think it strange that Ianto was there before her. He was always there before and after her. Ianto wondered what the team would think. He was seventy-five percent sure that Gwen and Owen had slept together at least once, and one hundred percent sure Tosh  _ wanted _ to sleep with Owen. He couldn’t blame them all, really. Who else did they have time for? Who else would get it?

Still, he wasn’t sure how comfortable he was with everyone knowing just yet. Right now, it was perfect, secret, confined. Taking it out anywhere else would expose it to dangers, reality.

“What’s wrong?” Ianto asked.

“Rhys thinks there’s something going on at his company,” Gwen said. “People are disappearing at the corporate office every week.”

“Did he say anything else?”

“No, he didn’t know, he doesn’t work at the main corporate office. He just mentioned that it was strange.”

“Definitely unusual,” Ianto agreed. “We’ll have Tosh check for spikes in rift activity when she gets in. 

“You rang?” Jack swaggered in, buttoning the last button on his shirt. Ianto couldn’t get enough of those red suspenders. Jack had a timelessness about him that allowed him to pull off anything.

“I was just telling Ianto,” Gwen said. “People are going missing at Rhys’ workplace.”

“Sure they’re not just quitting?” Jack asked. 

“I’m sure,” she said. 

“I’ve told her Tosh will check for rift activity,” Ianto offered. 

“Why am I checking for rift activity?” Tosh asked, coming in and putting her bag down by the computer. 

Already, her fingers were typing away, going through rift spikes in the past few weeks.

“How far does it go back?” Tosh asked. 

“Um, a few weeks?” Gwen guessed. “I didn’t want to freak him out by asking too many questions.”

Gwen gave her the address to narrow down the area of search. 

“There was a short flare up around the first report, but nothing after that,” Tosh confirmed. 

“You think the rift’s just taking them?” Jack asked. 

“Only one flare up,” Ianto objected.

“Or there’s something in the building that takes them, eats them, maybe? Something that came through that night of the spike?” Gwen asked. 

“Possible,” Jack agreed. 

“Something on a very regimented diet,” Ianto said.

“What’s going on?” Owen asked, coming in with furrowed brows.

“Something going on in Rhys’ corporation,” Ianto informed him. 

“I’m sure Rhys can handle it, he’s a big boy,” Owen winked at Gwen. Gwen almost laughed. 

“People are going missing every week,” Ianto said, slightly annoyed. 

“Let’s go check it out tonight. Ianto, with me, Gwen, and Owen go to the surrounding area, see if anyone’s noticed anything strange. Until then, Tosh, go through the cameras in the building and surrounding it, see if anything comes up.”

Jack’s command came so easily to him, Ianto wondered if he’d always had that authority, or if he’d learned from someone. The day passed without Tosh finding anything useful on the CCTV. Deciding groundwork was the only way to see anything, they planned to go. Tosh stayed behind to navigate them through the buildings and keep an eye on the cameras.

The four drove together to the office building. They let Owen and Gwen out before parking and heading inside. Once in the elevator, Ianto realized Jack was holding his hand. How long had that been going on? He thought since Gwen and Owen had left, Jack must have grabbed it once they’d gotten out of the car. It was so natural, Ianto hadn’t even noticed it. 

They arrived on the top floor, the level Tosh said had the most activity. 

“Oh, yeah, loving that officey feel,” Jack grinned. “I always get excited in these places. To me, they're exotic. Office romances... photocopying your butt... well, maybe not your butt, although as we're here, why don't we…”

“Jack,” Ianto said, trying not to laugh. “People have gone missing here.”

“Right,” Jack said, his smile fading.

Ianto started looking around desks. They didn’t quite know what they were looking for, but Ianto was hoping he’d know when he found it.

“So,” Jack said, absently poking around someone’s desk. “I was thinking…”

“What’s the occasion for such a rare occurrence, sir?” Ianto asked, not looking at Jack. 

Jack tried not to smile. 

“You don’t have to call me sir,” Jack said. “I was kind of hoping, with the way things were going…”   
Ianto could feel his heartbeat speed up, his mouth go dry. 

“We could, maybe when this was over, we could… I don’t know… Dinner and a movie or something?”

Ianto didn’t move. His hands were stuck holding papers he couldn’t possibly focus on enough to read.

“Are you asking me out on a date?” Ianto confirmed. It seemed backwards to everything else they’d done together.

“Interested?” Jack asked, watching Ianto carefully. He felt as though he were stalking a deer. Too sudden of a movement, and he would run. Strange, it was usually Jack doing the running.

Ianto recovered enough to put the papers back down, but he still didn’t look at Jack.

“Well... as long as it's not in an office. Some fetishes should be kept to yourself,” he smirked. “Now, you should go check the roof. Tosh said it could have been coming from there too.”

Jack nodded and made his way over to the door. 

“So was that a yes?”

“Yes. Yes,” Ianto answered quickly, too eagerly. 

He still couldn’t bring himself to look at Jack, but he could feel Jack’s smile as he left the room. 

An actual date with Jack? Out in public? Ianto felt his palms sweat at the very thought of it. Taking things out of Torchwood would make them real. That’s what he wanted, wasn’t it? Yes. He wanted to be with Jack… But once it was out there, once it was real… It could be taken away. Something could happen. Something bad. And it would be bad. Nothing good ever happened to the employees of Torchwood.

Still, the thought of going somewhere with Jack, doing something as mundane as a dinner and a movie date was intoxicating. Ianto loved his life, but it would be nice to at least pretend to be a normal couple. 

_ Couple. _ With  _ Jack _ . Ianto didn’t see that one coming. 

Lost in thought, he was immediately pulled out of it by Jack’s screaming coming from the roof. Ianto sprinted up the stairs and busted out of the rooftop door to find Jack face to face with what looked like a giant snake. It wasn’t though, Ianto realized. It was thin, probably only the width of a thigh, but it was long, so long. 

“It’s been hiding in the vents,” Jack screamed. “It came out of that one over there.”

Ianto saw the displaced vent cap. Jack fired his gun, but the creature seemed unphased. 

“What do we do, sir?” Ianto called. 

The snake thing was tall, hovering over Jack with its mouth open, showing lots and lots of teeth. Although the bullets didn’t seem to mortally wound it, it didn’t seem eager to get shot again, moving it’s upper body back and forth as if trying to make itself a more difficult target.

“Find something sharp,” Jack said, slowly backing up, trying to get out of the range of the teeth.

“Sharp,” Ianto muttered. He sprinted back down into the office and found the secretary’s desk. He searched for a few moments and found a letter opener. 

“You’ll have to do,” he said to it, before sprinting back up to the roof.

“Jack!” he yelled, running up to him and bracing himself in front of him. 

“A letter opener?” Jack yelled. 

“It was the best I could do,” Ianto shrugged. 

The snake did not look pleased at the sharp object, which Ianto took as a good sign. 

“Right… so… Here we go then,” he said, almost to himself. 

Ianto charged, plunging the knife into the creature’s neck. It roared in pain, flailing its head around, trying to get to Ianto. The stab had done some damage, but not enough. Ianto needed to cut its head off, but it was moving too much. Before he could say anything, Jack had jumped onto it, straddling the thing and trying to hold it’s head down. His arms easily fit around it, and the pressure he applied seemed to slow it down. It was enough time at least, for Ianto to hack away at the thing. He didn’t notice until after that the blue blood had completely ruined his suit. Once the head was off, it stopped moving. Somehow, Jack had avoided all the spray and merely dusted himself off looking no worse for wear. 

“You’ve got some blue on you,” Jack gestured to Ianto’s entire body. 

Ianto was about to say something snarky when Owen and Gwen burst through the door, guns drawn. 

“You missed all the fun,” Jack smiled at them. 

“Ianto, did you fuck a smurf?” Owen smirked. 

Ianto just rolled his eyes and walked past all of them. 

“Put a towel down on the seat before you sit,” Jack called after him. “I don’t want to explain that to a car wash.”

They brought the creature back to Torchwood for analysis afterwards. Owen determined it to be a nocturnal creature, whose system operated efficiently enough for only one meal a week. 

“Feels like we’re seeing more and more unknown species all the time now,” Owen noted. “What happened to just dealing with weevils?”

“It’s getting easier for things to slip through,” Jack agreed. “Just means we’ll have to work a little harder.”

Ianto had returned from his shower in a fresh pair of clothes. 

“That’s not going to come out with club soda,” he muttered, joining his teammates.

“Well, I’d call that a successful evening,” Jack said, clapping his hands. “Who’s for pizza?”

“I’m going home, Rhys is cooking,” Gwen said. 

“And you’re sure you don’t want pizza first?” Jack smirked. 

“Ha-ha,” Gwen rolled her eyes. 

“I was, um, actually going to ask Owen if he wanted to go get sushi,” Tosh said, pushing her hair back behind her ear. 

“Yeah, I could go for some fish,” Owen said, clearly oblivious to Tosh’s nervousness. “You wanna come?” Owen asked. Ianto watched Tosh’s face fall.    
“We’re good,” Jack answered for both of them. Tosh looked a little grateful.

They grabbed their coats and left, leaving Ianto and Jack alone.

“Looks like I owe you a new suit,” Jack said. 

“How do you figure, sir?” Ianto asked. 

“Well, I should have been the one to stab that thing,” Jack said. 

“Why’s that?” Ianto asked. 

Jack paused, as if he wasn’t quite sure. 

“Well, I’m the captain,” he said. “I should be the one in harm’s way, not you.”

“I don’t mind, Captain,” Ianto said quietly. “Although I wouldn’t say no to a new suit.”

Jack smiled. 

“I just… Seeing you step in like that… It was…” He trailed off, looking at Ianto carefully. 

“Erotic, sir?” Ianto tried to keep a straight face. 

“You could say that,” Jack laughed. “What do you say to that date happening now?”

Ianto baulked, not ready for that.

“Oh, um, right now?” he asked nervously. 

“We were going to get dinner anyway,” Jack shrugged. “Why not go out and enjoy it?”

“Are there even any places open? It’s almost ten.”

“I know a guy. Guys… And a few girls,” Jack jested. He saw Ianto’s skittishness and frowned. “Unless… You’ve changed your mind?”

“No!” Ianto nearly screamed. “I mean… It’s just so new, isn’t it? And… So private.”

“You’re embarrassed to be seen with me?” Jack asked. 

“No,” Ianto said, stepping closer to Jack. 

He wrapped his arms around Jack’s neck and kissed him gently. 

“Never,” he promised. 

“Then what is it?” he asked. 

Ianto sighed, not wanting to tell Jack what he knew would sound ridiculous to him. 

“I just… once we’re  _ out there _ , anything could happen,” Ianto explained. 

“That’s generally how going outdoors works,” Jack joked. 

“What if… What if it’s different, what if… I don’t know…”   
“What if I decide I don’t like you?” Jack asked.

“It’s a different world down here,” Ianto said, too embarrassed to meet Jack’s gaze. 

“It’s the same world,” Jack assured him. “Just less sunlight. And you look even more delicious in the sunlight.”

Ianto thought for a moment ignoring Jack’s compliment, but Jack pulled him out of his reverie. 

“Hey,” he said, gently tilting Ianto’s chin up. “I will still be me and you will still be you out there. We will have a nice dinner, maybe go dancing, and then I’m going to bring you back here, and…” Jack trailed off with a mischievous smile.

Ianto couldn’t help but catch the contagious smile and felt the corners of his lips pull up. 

“Alright,” he said quietly.

“Good,” Jack said, kissing Ianto’s forehead. “Now, I know a great Italian place, let’s go.”

They drove to the restaurant, but couldn’t find parking anywhere.

“I’ll drop you off at the entrance and go park. Just wait for me by the door,” Jack offered. 

Ianto started to argue, but Jack insisted, and Ianto just rolled his eyes and sighed. It would have been more fun to walk with Jack back from wherever he was able to find parking, but apparently Jack thought this way was more chivalrous. 

He got out of the car and walked to the front of the restaurant. For a late hour, there were still quite a few people out and about. Ianto supposed this was normal, though he never took part in any social adventures outside of Torchwood often enough to verify the regularity of the crowds.

He was just looking down the street when a man approached him. 

“You got the time?” he asked. He seemed friendly enough, and Ianto registered that he was very handsome, though it didn’t phase him.

“Uh, quarter to eleven,” Ianto smiled, expecting the man to nod and keep walking. 

“Thanks,” he said, smiling. “Nice watch, by the way.”

Ianto smiled slightly. 

“Thanks, I ordered it from Italy,” he said. 

“Makes sense,” the man nodded. “You have impeccable style. 

Ianto’s smile widened. 

“Most of my coworkers dress like slobs, but I’ve always thought the clothes--”

“Make the man,” the stranger agreed. 

Ianto found it both strange and slightly thrilling to be having such a normal conversation with a stranger. It wasn’t often he got to talk to people outside of work about anything. He felt so normal talking about something so mundane.

Ianto was about to say something else to the nice young man, but he felt an arm slip around his waist, and lips press against his temple.

“Who’s this, love?” Jack asked. 

Ianto frowned at the uncharacteristic nickname, and looked up, slightly bewildered, at Jack. Jack looked… almost nervous, Ianto thought. 

“Oh,” the stranger said. “I was just complimenting your, um, boyfriend’s watch,” he said, clearly uncomfortable. 

“He does have impeccable taste,” Jack smiled. Ianto noticed he failed to correct the man’s label.

The man nodded and wished them a goodnight. Ianto watched Jack’s smile fade to annoyance when the man turned his back. It was then he realized what had happened. 

“Where you jealous?” Ianto said, a teasing smile spreading across his face.

Jack started walking towards the door. He rolled his eyes.

“Of him?” he scoffed. “Please.”

“He was pretty handsome,” Ianto played.

Jack looked at him and arched an eyebrow as if to say  _ do you seriously think he’s any competition for me? _

But Ianto had heard the nervousness in Jack’s voice, had felt the term  _ love _ ’s impact on the stranger. Jack had been jealous, and for a moment, Ianto felt like the luckiest man in the world.

Jack twined his fingers with Ianto’s as they entered the restaurant. It was empty. Ianto had expected some lingering people at the bar, but there was no one in sight. No one except the host. 

An elderly gentleman met them at the host’s stand and smiled. 

“Table for two?” he asked. 

“You got it, Eugene,” Jack grinned. 

“Right this way, Jack. And your partner’s name?” he inquired of Ianto.

Ianto cast a quick glance at Jack to see his reaction to the label. 

“Ianto,” he muttered, seeing Jack’s grin. 

“Lovely couple,” Eugene murmured as he shuffled along in front of them to a table by the window.

Ianto swallowed at the term and wondered why it made him so uncomfortable. 

“Thanks, Eugene,” Jack nodded, pulling out Ianto’s seat as Ianto rolled his eyes. “Give us a minute with the menu?” 

“Of course,” Eugene nodded and left them. 

“Did you call ahead?” Ianto asked.

“While you were in the shower,” Jack said, looking proud.

“Bit presumptuous of my answer, were we?” Ianto arched an eyebrow. 

Jack shrugged and smiled. 

“What’d you do then, save the chef from an alien invasion?”

“Pretty much, yeah,” Jack laughed.  

Ianto shook his head as he smiled. 

“He called us a couple,” Ianto said after a moment. 

“So?” Jack asked. “We are, aren’t we?”

“Yeah, I mean… Yes, right?”

Jack enjoyed Ianto’s nervousness in that moment. 

“Yes,” Jack agreed, as if confirming that the earth was round, or water was wet.

“Right,” Ianto said, hiding his face with a menu.

“That ok with you?” Jack asked, slightly concerned.

“Just… new, that’s all,” Ianto said.

“Ianto,” Jack said, and Ianto thought he might have heart problems if his heart didn’t get used to Jack saying his name so softly. He pushed the menu down so Ianto couldn’t hide.

“What?” Ianto feigned ignorance. 

“Why are you being so weird?”

“I’m not being weird,” Ianto said defensively. 

“Are you ready to order?” Eugene asked, arriving abruptly at their table. 

“Five more minutes, please, Eugene. My date is having trouble  _ deciding _ ,” Jack said in a tone.

“Very good, sir,” Eugene said, leaving them alone again. 

“I’m not being weird,” Ianto repeated.

“Why does one old man thinking we’re a couple freak you out?” Jack wondered, half concerned, half amused. 

Ianto sighed. 

“If you must know--”

“I must.”

Ianto sighed. 

“The last time I was part of a couple, it didn’t go so well, if you’ll recall.”

Jack’s face fell and he looked almost embarrassed. 

“Oh,” he said. 

Ianto reached for Jack’s hand and held it. 

“I know it won’t end like  _ that,” _ Ianto said. “But… with Torchwood… It won’t end well,” he let himself say the words he’d been thinking. “Will it?”

Jack looked like he wanted to say something funny, or at least to lie and say no, but he couldn’t. Not with Ianto. 

“Being here… Being recognized as  _ together _ … Just makes it more real that it could end so suddenly.”

“People get hit by buses,” Jack said. “They fall on train tracks, they get in car accidents, they have heart attacks.”

“You know what I mean,” Ianto said.

Jack nodded somberly. He reached his other hand and covered Ianto’s. 

“Then we better make the most of it,” he said. 

Ianto smiled. 

“I suppose so,” he agreed. “What are you going to get?”

Jack perused the menu with pursed lips, and Ianto simply watched him for a moment. It occurred to him that not many people got to see this Jack. He wasn’t being a boss, an agent, or a leader. He was just being Jack, picking out what pasta dish most appealed to him. Ianto smiled softly at this. 

“Penne alla vodka,” Jack declared, setting down the menu with a flourish.

“We’ll make it two,” Ianto smiled. 

They ordered and were served very soon after. The meal was incredible, and Ianto wondered how many people Jack knew like this. Did he get that jacket of his dry cleaned by the finest cleaners he saved from a parasitic alien? Did he get discounts at the exotic flower shop from the time he saved the owner from certain death? Ianto knew he’d never know  _ everything _ about Jack, and part of him loved that. He would always be partially a mystery, even if they spent their whole lives unravelling each other.

When Jack ordered dessert to go, Ianto could see the hunger in his eyes. Not surprisingly, the dessert featured in their adventures in Jack’s bedroom that night. Clothes had been flung everywhere, and there was some serious cleaning up to do in terms of where the whipped cream had ended up.

When they were done, panting in bed, Jack looked at the lamp shade where Ianto’s boxers had fallen. 

“Hearts?” Jack asked, looking at the pattern on them. 

“My sister gave them to me,” Ianto smiled. “I keep them as a backup pair mostly.”

He looked at Jack then, realizing he didn’t know something vital.

“Do you have a family where you come from?” he asked.

“I did,” Jack answered after a pause. 

“In the future,” Ianto confirmed. 

Jack nodded. 

“Can you ever… Do you ever go back, er forward?” Ianto asked.

“My vortex manipulator’s broken,” Jack frowned.

“Nothing here could fix it?” Ianto asked. Jack shook his head. “You must miss them.”

“Yeah,” Jack nodded, his finger tracing lines on Ianto’s bare chest. 

“Did you have any siblings?” Ianto asked. Jack’s finger stopped, drawing Ianto’s attention.

“Yes,” Jack said finally. 

“Brother, or…” Ianto pretended to be patient. 

“Yeah. Gray,” Jack said. Clearly he was uncomfortable, and Ianto was surprised he’d gotten this much out of him. 

“Right,” was all Ianto felt entitled to say. 

“He… It’s a long story,” Jack said, sounding almost winded from the first words of the tale.

“I haven’t got any plans, sir,” Ianto said, looking up at the ceiling. 

Jack’s finger resumed its pattern on Ianto’s chest while he spoke in a quiet voice. 

“My planet was being invaded,” Jack said, focusing on his pattern. “I was supposed to run with my brother. I had his hand in mine… But he slipped… I thought he was right behind me… I don’t know what happened.”

Ianto could feel the strain in Jack’s voice and couldn’t keep his eyes from finding Jack’s. Jack was focused on Ianto’s chest.

“I’m sorry,” was all Ianto could think to say.

“It was a long time ago,” Jack said, robotically. “A long way away.”

“Still matters,” Ianto countered. Jack looked up at him. 

“Still matters,” Jack agreed, his eyes a little teary.

“You’ve never been able to look for him, even before your vortex thing broke?” Ianto asked. 

“I’ve looked everywhere,” Jack sighed. “No sign of him dead or alive.”

“The worst part is not knowing,” Ianto said. 

Jack nodded, placing his head on Ianto’s chest. He could hear his heartbeat. Reliable, steady, constant. Just like Ianto. Jack kissed the smooth skin beneath him. 

“No one else here knows that,” he said quietly. “Just you.”

Ianto nodded, recognizing the weight of his words. Perhaps Gwen or Tosh knew of his being a time agent, or some other small fact, but this was Ianto’s secret too now. This was something Jack had been unwilling to share with anyone else. This was special.

Ianto wondered how many more of these secrets he’d be able to coax out of Jack. Jack already knew everything about Ianto, but this was just the tip of what Ianto surmised to be the largest iceberg in the universe.

He felt Jack’s head on his chest, Jack’s fingers tracing patterns on his skin. He closed his eyes. Jack was done talking, Ianto could sense that bare-bones story had taken a lot out of him. Still, he wondered what was going on in that handsome head just inches above his heart.


	6. Chapter 6

Ianto wasn’t sure if the team knew about him and Jack. It was sort of unspoken between the two men to keep it professional in the workplace, even if their relationship migrated into the workplace, during such games as naked hide and seek, after hours. Ianto didn’t mind that Jack cheated at the game.

Still, Ianto wondered if the team even had time to notice with all the running around they’d been doing lately. And especially now, Ianto wondered if they knew. Could they read the concern on his features as easily as he thought? Ianto had practiced a mask of indifference for a long time, but his lover being stuck in a different time at The Ritz Dance Hall was truly a test of its strength. 

He’d been mostly angry around Owen during the whole affair, and he hoped Owen read that as annoyance and not heart-gripping fear as it really was. Ianto was scared that day. He was more frightened than he’d ever been. Jack might be gone. Forever. Ianto didn’t know how to deal with that. 

But when he came back. Oh, when he came back, Ianto didn’t care about anything else. Ianto saw his Captain in his coat, saw him sauntering towards him and Owen with that Jack Harkness grin of his, and he didn’t care. Ianto ran to him. He ran and wrapped his arms around Jack. He kissed him with everything he had, ignoring the gasp and muffled surprise from his colleagues. 

Jack kissed him back unapologetically, unashamedly. Ianto’s cheeks were flushed and he was out of breath by the end. When he pulled away, he spent a moment just looking at Jack. Jack’s eyes were kind, open. He didn’t need to say anything. Ianto knew he’d been just as scared to lose him. 

“Well then,” Owen said loudly. “What’s this?”

“Owen,” Tosh scolded. 

“It’s fine,” Jack waved it away. “We just didn’t advertise it. But uh,” he looked at Ianto who nodded. “Yeah, we’re…”

“A couple?” Gwen asked, smiling. She looked excited for them. 

“I hate that word,” Ianto and Jack said simultaneously.

“But yes, we’re together,” Jack nodded with a smile. 

Ianto held the gaze of each of his colleagues as he watched them take it in. Owen just shrugged and walked off to the autopsy room, Gwen came over and kissed Ianto and Jack on the cheek, and Tosh clasped her hands in front of her and wished them the best before logging onto her computer and working. 

“Well, that went smoothly,” Ianto noted as he followed Jack into his office. 

“Did you think it wouldn’t?” Jack asked. 

“Didn’t really know if we’d ever tell them,” Ianto shrugged. 

“Ah, you liked being my dirty little secret,” Jack wiggled his eyebrows and grinned. 

Ianto rolled his eyes and sighed as Jack wrapped his arms around Ianto’s waist. His eyes met Jack’s eyes. There was… happiness, Ianto realized. He was happy. Why did that look so foreign on Jack’s features.

“I think you’ll find I’m immaculate, not dirty,” Ianto sassed. 

“Not when I’m through with you,” Jack smirked, his eyes twinkling.

Jack was just about to kiss him when Tosh appeared in the doorway.

“Um, sorry to interrupt,” she said nervously. 

“What is it, Tosh?” Jack asked softly, not moving an inch away from Ianto. 

“Weevils,” she frowned. 

“How many?”

“Only two, not far from here. Should I send you the coordinates, or maybe Gwen can--”

“We’ll take care of it,” Jack said, regretfully pulling himself away from Ianto. “Ianto’s too immaculate, I want to dirty him up a bit,” Jack said. 

Ianto opened his mouth to say something, but opted instead for silence as they grabbed their guns and sprays, and ran. 

The weevils were within running distance of the hub, and Jack and Ianto soon found them. Only, there weren’t two, there were four. Tosh has somehow been wrong. There was no way they could take down four weevils with just spray, and they couldn’t wait for help. 

Ianto fired first, hitting one weevil in the head and putting it down. Ianto said a silent thank you to his past self that he put on the silencer so they didn’t attract attention. 

Ianto noticed something strange then. One of the other weevils cocked its head as it watched Ianto kill its friend. The sight and sound of the weevil’s death put the other weevils into a frenzy, charging at Jack and Ianto. Ianto managed to kill one, but two were still on them. One knocked Ianto over, baring its teeth and trying to bite him as he held it off. Ianto’s gun had fallen and he reached for it blindly until he found it. He could hear Jack’s gun going off and assumed Jack to be fine as he shot his own weevil and got to his feet.

What Ianto had not anticipated when he stood, was to see the weevil standing, and Jack on the ground, covered in blood. The weevil stood with the gun in its hand, looking at it as if in wonderment. That weevil, Ianto shook his head. He had  _ watched _ Ianto fire the gun. He had seen it, learned from it… He must have wrestled the gun away from…

A screamed ripped itself free from Ianto’s throat as he realized what had happened. The weevil had shot Jack multiple times in the torso. Ianto emptied his clip into the weevil’s torso and head, pulling the trigger long after the clip was empty.

He ran to Jack, kneeling next to his dying lover and taking him in his arms. His face was wet but he couldn’t remember when he started crying. Jack was gasping for breath, his blue shirt soaked to a deep purple. 

“Jack,” Ianto cried. “Jack, hold on.”

“It’s… okay,” Jack breathed, barely audible. 

Ianto hit his comms.

“Tosh!” He screamed. 

“Don’t,” Jack asked. He cough violently and then stilled in Ianto’s arms.

“Tosh!” Ianto screamed again. 

“Ianto, what is it?” Tosh responded.

There was no air in the world. Ianto couldn’t breathe. He saw Jack’s pale skin sprinkled with blood, and it didn’t compute. There could be no death for Jack Harkness. Not someone who was so  _ alive. _ Ianto clutched him to his chest, unable to respond to Tosh’s questions.

Ianto sucked all the air he could into his lungs, but it wasn’t enough. He felt light headed and fuzzy. His hand went through Jack’s hair, combing through and through, coming down to rest on Jack’s cheek.

When the man in his arms sputtered to life, gasping and sucking in air, bolting upright, Ianto almost fainted. 

“Holy shit that one hurt,” Jack gasped, feeling his chest. 

“Ianto what--” Tosh interrupted.

Jack hit his comms.    
“Everything’s fine, Tosh. Got the weevils,” Jack said, giving Ianto a look that said  _ just wait a minute. _

Ianto thought he’d passed out and was dreaming. Jack was dead. Definitely dead. Riddled with bullets, no sign of life, dead.

“You… You…” Ianto stuttered. 

“I can explain,” Jack offered, holding up his hands as if Ianto might attack him. 

Ianto finally closed his eyes for a moment and took one deep, centering breath.

“You’re alive,” he confirmed. 

Jack opened his shirt and revealed an unscarred chest. 

“Yup, good as new,” he promised. His tone was light, but his eyes conveyed the seriousness of the situation. He needed Ianto to understand.

“But you were…”

Jack got to his feet, extending his hand for Ianto to take.

“I’ll explain, but not here,” Jack said, looking around carefully. “Come on, we gotta clean these things up and get back. We really should have just stuck to the spray and brought them in. Not a fair fight with four against two though,” he shrugged. “Plus the cells are rather full these days.”

Jack was talking so casually, Ianto got caught up in the routineness of it all.

“Right,” Ianto said. “Tosh, bring the car for clean up, please.”

“Gwen’s on her way with Owen,” Tosh confirmed. 

Ianto stood in silence just watching Jack as they waited for their friends to arrive. It felt like forever, and Ianto had all the time in the world to scan every inch of his living, breathing, Jack. The car pulled up and Gwen hopped out, opening the back doors to load up the dead weevils. It wasn’t easy loading them into the car, but they managed. The physical work of lifting them made Ianto feel real again for a moment.

They got into the car, but it was a tight fit. Ianto had to sit on Jack’s lap in the front. Owen stayed in the back with the weevils, and Gwen drove. Ianto wanted to kiss Jack, to feel his warm flesh against his, but he didn’t. Not now, not with dead aliens in the back and Owen and Gwen bickering about Gwen’s driving. Ianto did have some self restraint. Jack, who lacked that very thing, seemed to be preoccupied. Ianto wondered if he were rehearsing what he would say to Ianto when they were alone.

“You alright, Jack?” Gwen asked, glancing at the blood on his shirt. 

“Oh, not my blood,” Jack grinned, but he covered up the bullet holes with his coat.

“Never is,” Gwen answered knowingly.

Jack smiled slightly at this, and Ianto felt like he was missing out on a joke. He didn’t know how he was remaining so calm, but then again, that’s what he had been trained for. Sort of.

They arrived at Torchwood and loaded the weevils into the autopsy room for incineration. Ianto was on autopilot. His mind kept replaying Jack’s lifeless body, his blood everywhere, his last breath. Then he would look at Jack and feel… wrong. Like this wasn’t the right reality. But it had to be right because Jack was alive. 

“Come on,” Jack said quietly, once the team had settled down. 

They climbed down into Jack’s bunk, and shut the door. Ianto paced back and forth while Jack waited, arms crossed. 

“You died,” Ianto said. “You. Died. I saw it.”

“Yes,” Jack confirmed, sounding tired. 

“But you came back. How. Only the glove--”

“It’s a long story,” Jack said. 

“I’ve got all night,” Ianto said tersely.

“Sit down,” Jack offered, taking a seat on the bed himself.

Ianto wanted to argue just for the sake of it, but Jack looked so heavy, so tired, he acquiesced. 

“I’m a fixed point in time,” Jack said, as if it should explain everything. “Something happened to me with a time vortex, and now I can’t die.”

Ianto nodded, trying to wrap his mind around it. 

“How long ago did this happen?” Ianto asked. 

Jack sighed. 

“A long time ago,” he said. 

Ianto saw it in his eyes, then. He saw the ancientness that had always been there. He had read it as wisdom, maybe some residual pain from his time in the war. But now, he saw it differently. 

“Who else knows?” Ianto asked. 

“Just Gwen, though she doesn’t know why.”

“What happens?” Ianto asked. “When you die?” His voice was timid, childlike. 

Jack shook his head and sighed. 

“Nothing,” he said. “At least, nothing I can remember by the time I’m back.”

Ianto nodded. 

“Do you age?” Ianto asked. “Obviously not,” he answered his own question. 

“Very very slowly,” Jack said patiently. 

“You can come back from anything?” Ianto confirmed. 

“So far,” Jack sighed. 

“How many times have you died?”

“I lost count,” Jack answered honestly. 

Ianto nodded, and found his hand migrating to Jack’s chest. He opened the ripped shirt easily and smoothed his fingers over the unmarred flesh. 

“No trace,” he said. “How old are you?” he asked. “Are you like, the ultimate cougar?” The joke came out a little dry, but Jack found Ianto’s attempt at humor comforting. 

“I suppose I am,” Jack smirked. 

Ianto’s heart felt as though it had been struck by lightning at his next thought.

“How many… how many of me have there been?” he asked. “How many people have you…”

Jack looked down at his hands. 

“I’ve lived a long time, Ianto,” he said. 

“I know,” Ianto responded, equally unable to make eye contact. His question persisted in the silence. 

“Well, I’ve slept with quite a few people,” he said. “Luckily no diseases last long,” he added with a half-hearted wink. “But this,” he said, finally looking at Ianto as he took his hand. “I’ve felt this way for only a handful of people. And each in different ways.”

Ianto nodded. He could understand that. Still, it did make him feel marginally less unique.

“Ianto,” Jack said quietly, drawing Ianto’s gaze. “This doesn’t make us, this, any less special. I… A lot of the things I’ve shared with you, I’ve never shared with anyone else.”

Ianto’s heart soared for a moment. 

“Just me?” he confirmed. 

“Just you,” Jack nodded, a small smile on his lips.

“So… you remember them all?” Ianto asked. Jack cocked his head, a little confused at the backtracking. 

“Yes,” Jack said clearly. 

“God,” Ianto breathed. “We must be like mayflies to you.”

Jack’s face fell from hopeful to sad. He sighed.

“No,” he said. “You seem like humans.”

“Will you remember me?” Ianto asked, suddenly scared. 

Jack caressed Ianto’s cheek with his thumb, cradling his head in one hand. 

“Of course,” he said sincerely. “How could I forget you?”

Ianto looked at him doubtfully.

“So will I grow old and wrinkly while you remain young and handsome like some kind of horrid vampire novel?” Ianto asked, wrinkling his nose.

Jack laughed and was going to answer, but Ianto cut in.

“Oh, nevermind,” he said grimly. 

“What?”

Ianto sighed. 

“The average lifespan for a Torchwood agent is only five years after their day of hire, and that’s generous.”

Ianto sounded both relieved and resentful. “Suppose you’ll have to…”

_ Watch me die, _ he finished the thought in his head. Jack didn’t need him to finish his sentence. 

“Don’t talk like that,” Jack said, with an effort to sound a little cheerful.

“It’s realistic,” Ianto said. He had known the risks when he took the job. Still, now he had a lot more to lose. 

“It’s a statistic,” Jack said. “It’s not a prophecy.”

Ianto looked at him with an expression that read  _ statistics are rarely wrong. _

“It’s very likely,” Ianto said. “It could have easily been me that was riddled with bullets instead of you.”

“But it wasn’t,” Jack said, moving closer to Ianto. 

“But you’ll live forever,” Ianto said, brightening slightly.    
“Well, I don’t know--”

“You’ll live forever. Helping people, fighting aliens, making your secretaries fall for you,” Ianto started to smile. 

“I suppose, at least the first two,” Jack managed a laugh. 

“That’s good enough for me,” Ianto said. And it was, in that moment. Ianto had known he would die young since he joined Torchwood, maybe even before. But knowing that Jack would live on… That was somehow comforting. And maybe Jack  _ would _ remember him. Maybe Jack would tell people in far future times about a man he loved long ago.

“Ianto, you’re not going to die within five years. You’ve got me.”

“Right, sir,” Ianto said with a slightly sad smile. 

Jack could tell he wasn’t convinced, nor would he be able to convince him. Jack himself didn’t want to admit that he just didn’t know if it were true. He’d try his damndest, bring Ianto back from the dead somehow if he had to. Somehow, the young man had become absolutely vital to him a very small period of time. 

It wasn’t a feeling Jack was completely unfamiliar with, but he hadn’t been lying when he said that it was different with everyone. And there was something about Ianto that made Jack scared of what he would do if and when he lost him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks so much for the support. I'm going to be adding a little epilogue sort of chapter and then I'll be done for now. maybe eventually writing some little things here and there after that :)


	7. Chapter 7

Ianto hadn’t envisioned his death to be this way. He thought he’d go out in a blaze of glory, guns firing, buildings exploding. He thought maybe he’d die for someone, die to save Jack, or Gwen, or Owen, or Tosh. But Owen and Tosh had died their own hero’s deaths, and now Ianto lay on the floor of the Thames House in front of an alien trying to abduct the world’s children.

Jack looked worried, that much Ianto could comprehend through the muddiness of his mind shutting down. 

Jack was holding him, saying things, and Ianto was saying things. But he couldn't stop thinking about everything that had brought them here. Everything he’d learned about Jack just that day. He’d learned that Jack had sacrificed twelve children to save the planet, that he had a daughter and grandson. He hadn’t been lying when he said he thought he’d only just scratched the surface. There were lifetimes within Jack that he knew he’d never reach, but this. This was so real, so current. He had living, breathing, descendants. He had created life, and never talked about it. 

Ianto didn’t know how he felt about Jack’s past actions. He thought he should be angry with Jack for having sacrificed those children. They’d seen what the aliens were doing with them. Still, Jack had been a different man then. He hadn’t had a team, not like what he had now. He hadn’t had Ianto. Ianto wondered in all the times they’d bared their souls to each other, how often Jack had almost mentioned this. He wondered if he thought Ianto would run screaming from him if he told him. He wondered if this was the worst thing Jack had ever done.

The floor was cold, and Ianto realized his cheek was touching the tiled floor. Jack had left. As if a delayed response happened, Ianto registered that Jack had warned him he’d be back before leaving him on the floor. 

He felt a prick in his arm, one he knew should have hurt more than it did. And then the world came swirling back quickly, his senses returning to full force, his mind dredged out of the muddy pool it had been stuck in. 

“What did you do to me?” Ianto asked, staring at Jack, who stood with a needle held upright.

“Improvised anti-toxin,” Jack breathed, looking utterly relieved. “They had a bunch of chemicals over there from when they were doing their tests on the 4-5-6. I mixed a little of its fluid with some other chemicals.”

“Like an inoculation using parts of a virus,” Ianto said. 

“Exactly,” Jack nodded. He looked like he wanted to say something more, but he held out his hand instead, dropping the needle. “We need to aerisolize this place with the inoculation.”

Ianto nodded, grabbing Jack’s hand and following him over to the work station. They worked quickly, and found the air ventilation system. They passed a lot of dead and dying people, but they were told afterwards that their actions had saved at least hundred people.

Just as Jack was able to save Ianto, so Ianto saved Jack later that day. Jack had needed a child to cancel out the frequency of the 4-5-6, but Ianto found a way around that using what he’d learned from Tosh back in the old days. He was able to synthesize what would have been needed from the child using tech he found in the Thames house. 

Alice looked like she wanted to weep with relief when it was over, and Ianto wondered if Jack would ever let Ianto talk to her after this was all over. What was Jack like as a father? Ianto had so many delicious questions for her.

Still, as they stood on the dock, looking out on the water, Jack seemed to have one thing on his mind. 

“You told me you loved me,” Jack said, piercing the quiet of the evening.

Ianto blinked, the conversation coming back to him. He’d been in Jack’s arms, the poison air filling his lungs.

“I love you,” he’d said. 

“Don’t,” Jack had sobbed. 

“Don’t forget me.”

“Never could.”

“A thousand year’s time? You won’t remember me,” Ianto had been convinced. 

Jack had promised he would. And now he stood before Ianto, waiting for him to say something.

“I was dying,” Ianto shrugged. “Isn’t that what people do?”

“Did you mean it?” Jack asked. Ianto heard an uncharacteristic timbre of doubt in his question.

Ianto kept his eyes on the horizon.

“Yes, sir,” Ianto said. He saw Jack smile out of the corner of his eye.

“Good,” Jack nodded. 

It was Ianto’s turn to cast a glance his way. His heart seemed to stop. He didn’t want to ask. 

“And you, sir?” he asked, carefully detached.

“I… Yes, I… Love you, Ianto Jones,” Jack said. 

He made it sound like it was difficult to say, but not because it wasn’t true.

“Why didn’t you tell me when I was dying?” Ianto asked.

“Because it felt like saying goodbye.”

“It was.”

“I wasn’t ready for goodbye.”

“Me either.”

The two men smiled at each other tentatively. They both breathed in and out, relishing the fresh, clean air. 

“So, what now, sir?” Ianto asked, his eyes on his Captain, scanning his body up and and down.

Jack arched an eyebrow and smiled. He had lots of ideas. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hope you enjoyed my little fix-it! I may write some more in the future :)


End file.
